My Short Poem About Life

I don’t think anybody really knew me. But then again, I hardly think anyone really cared. This is a poem of my short  life. And by the time you read this. It will probably be too late. But I really did try. Here is my poem:

“They thought he was a joke. So they laughed.

They thought he never replied. So they left.

Maybe it was all for the best.

He lived another day. No matter how hard he resisted.

He lost everything. Even happiness left.

He should have hugged it one last time.

No one knew why he never returned.”

Hard to believe. But perhaps my life was meant to be short.

“No flowers, no funeral, no nothing.”

 

UPDATE: I would first like to thank all of you for the supportive comments. I did not expect much of anything when I published this post. I truly apologize for making people worry about my life. That was not my intention. I really didn’t think anyone cared. I was just feeling pretty lousy with life. I do want to say, that what I published yesterday was how I felt at some point in my life, so I don’t want to dismiss those feelings of sadness, isolation, and rejection. Funny, after I published my post, my best friend sent me a message. She doesn’t know about my blog, but she finally wanted to talk with me. And that was enough for me to keep going. I decided to change the format and the post out of convenience for everyone. Once again, thank you for being there for me. I really do appreciate the support and lovely comments. Thank you.

– Eddy

Advertisements

81 thoughts on “My Short Poem About Life

  1. Hey, I just read some of your posts and they are absolutely inspiring. I just want to say that even from a random stranger’s point of view I can already see that you have lots to live for. Keep trekkin.

    • Sorry to worry you. I am okay now. I guess I just lost sight of certain things in my life. I am not saying that I am completely better. I am just saying that I am okay. Anyways, thanks for your support.

  2. Ditto to all of the above! Life is HARD, Life is SO HARD sometimes but you matter, you make a difference, People WILL miss you if you go and I hope this was tongue in cheek and not actual.

    • I wouldn’t necessarily say this was tongue and cheek, but I had written this when I was feeling pretty bad. Yesterday, I suddenly felt bad again and didn’t know what to do. I am okay and I think that is good for now.

      • Please reach out to someone who can sit down with you on a regular basis, in your town; there’s nothing like looking someone in the face, someone neutral, and sharing with them your hopes and fears and dreams and dreads; it’s very freeing!

  3. Mark says:

    I hope you stick around myself. I understand the feeling to want to /logout of life, I struggle with it often but I somehow make an excuse not to. The one I use right now is my dog, Lady. She would be worse off if I was not around.

    Find something to live for, make an excuse. Being gay like I am is not one of them. I have bigots in my life I live with one right now and I am currently in the early stages of telling my story on my blog – just click my name here in the comments. You should stick around to listen it’s kind of a hoot right now – but things will get a bit darker soon.

    Stick around to read my story and see if maybe I have it worse than you. 😀

    I told you in the first comment I ever wrote you that I am a friend and I am someone who will listen to you vent and hear anything else you had to say. I will talk about whatever you want, Hit me up good Sir.

    Maybe we can even have a romp in the sack, how about that! haha *teasing to put a smile on your face, but who knows what can happen, right?*

    Your friend,

    Mark

    • songtothesirens says:

      I may not be gay, but I do live with Bipolar disorder and have tried to check out many times with the last time nearly taking my life. Yes, I have a stigmatizing illness, but I choose to be noisy about it. And I choose to live my life surrounded by things and people that make me happy. It may not be what other people would have chosen for me, but it is my life, my heart, and no matter how hazy the horizon, I keep to my promise to not “logout” as you put it……there are a lot of people who will judge you no matter what you are, gay or not gay, mentally ill or “normal”. What you have to wonder is why they are so bigoted and close minded? Maybe something hitting a little too close to home, maybe.

      • Mark says:

        Nah, they have always been bigots, both sides of my family — thankfully I was adopted and not actually genetically related to any of them. I have always been ashamed of them.

      • songtothesirens says:

        I have an uncle that is a Texan, and yes, I meant to use the capital T. The only thing I can say about him is thank god I carry none of his genetic material.

        I am ashamed of all prejudiced people. Even the ones I do not know, because they can be so unaware of how their bigotry can affect another person. That’s one reason I choose to be loud and noisy about mental health. To challenge the status quo.

      • Mark says:

        I think you are doing it right, “loud and noisy”. Good for you!

        Sometimes we all can use some more noise… well, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my naps! haha 😀

        *grumbles something about dumbass neighbors and annoying noisy cats*

      • songtothesirens says:

        Dumbass neighbors and annoying cats….I like that 🙂 I am having a similar problem right now. I am surrounded on all sides by small, very noisy children…..I like children, though.

        If we (anyone in a stigmatized group) aren’t loud and noisy ourselves, then who is? I didn’t choose to have Bipolar disorder anymore than a person chooses to be gay, and people need to get that, in my opinion.

    • Mark says:

      I just realized my posting mistake. Sorry.

      From up top, I meant to say, “Find something to live for, make an excuse. Being gay like I am is not an excuse to give it all up.”

    • Thank you Mark. I am completely fine with being gay. Although I am not completely out, I soon will be. Yesterday, was just a really bad day for me. One of the worst ever to be honest. I guess the search to find meaningful friendships continues to be a challenge. Gay or straight, I struggle to maintain friends. I struggle to find meaning in life. To feel loved and be loved. To connect. But things will be fine for now. I promise.

  4. This is probably bizarre and frustrating, but hear me out. Life is brutal, cruel, crappy, anything you can think of, but that doesn’t mean it’ll always be that way! Yes, things could seem like they’re hitting rock bottom, yes it could seem like there is no nope out there to believe in, yes you would want to give up on everything just to be at peace, BUT BELIEVE ME, IT’LL GET BETTER. Screw those who snatch away your happiness, you have your own heart, your own mind, your own life to perfect and look forward to. If they don’t understand now, they will later, and even if they don’t, then you know where you stand. You can shape your life in a way that makes you happy, you’re not who everyone thinks you are, but you know what? That makes you, YOU. So what if you’re gay? Go out and live your life and enjoy it, YOUR WAY. Surround yourself with people that make you happy, and if you haven’t met them yet, you have the rest of your life to create super awesome and lovely bonds. Yeah, you’re probably like, “why is this stranger blabbering on to me?” but believe it or not, I care. I can’t sit back, behind a computer screen and let it happen to someone else. Trust me, it gets better just hang in there.

    • Sorry for the late reply, but thank you for taking time to say some kind words. I think things have gotten a bit better. At least, better than they were a few weeks ago 🙂

    • Sorry for not answering your comments. I am actually pretty lucky to have someone like you who cares so much about me. And I don’t even know your name. Anyways, thank you for your support and for caring.

      • Well u are a good person. U just have to know that in order to care about someone. It shouldnt mater if u know them or not because i care about wut kind of person they are. You are a good and inspiring person so kit! ^.^

  5. I’m here for you if you need someone to listen to you and read your blogs. I’m in my mid-fifties now. Several times in my life I wished to just to go to sleep and not wake up. But I kept waking up every time I went to sleep. I am still really tired but not in so much pain, or maybe I got used to the pain or maybe I am better at dealing with my pain. I am happy to be here right now.

    • I can relate. Sometimes I wake up and wonder why. But some days it’s not so bad. I am glad that you are happy to be here. The world is a beautiful place.

      • Yes, there is beauty… I love reading your thoughtful replies to everyone. The ups and downs being in this body, all the sensation, I call surfing samsara. My surfboard is called equanimity. Time me to get some sleep, like a little death, I don’t remember my dreams. In the morning waking is like birth, painful. Shake the pain out and grab my surfboard. See you out on the waves!

  6. songtothesirens says:

    Something I read in another blog applies here, and I am paraphrasing in a big way. Sometimes the rock bottom is exactly where you need to be to begin to build a new foundation. It can be a literal rock bottom or an emotional one.

    I live with bipolar disorder complicated by PTSD, and I have felt so many times that life just wasn’t worth it. But, I always backed out at the last minute, calling for emergency. The last time I gave in to my “dark” side nearly ended my life. That was 6 or so years ago. I realized that if I lived through the doctors, nurses and technician’s efforts to save my life, I would never attempt it again. And, I haven’t although it has been a bitch of a promise to keep. I will always live with the passing desire to just end it all, but that is all it will be is a passing thought.

    You are not alone at all. There are many people in your situation, and who think as you are. But, they have something that keeps them from doing it. It could be a pet, your family (unless they are as messed up as mine), your friends, but the primary reason for not trying is that you may succeed and the world will have lost another beautiful person. Believe that you are beautiful and wonderful just the way you are. You are a unique light in the Universe.

    • Honestly, that was pretty awful what you have been through. I am glad you are still here in this world. I really don’t know what to say. But I do want to thank you for stopping by and showing some support. I hope it remains a passing thought. But if it ever becomes too much, I will be here to if you wish to talk.

  7. Hi Eddy:
    I logged on to thank you for liking my post and was immediately drawn to your story. And terribly saddened by this newest entry. I hope it is one entry of many more to come. As someone who has survived the suicide of a loved one, I can only ask you to read the many replies here – including mine – telling you how much you have already offered and how much more you have to share. You are necessary. Please reach out.

      • Mark says:

        I am not worried about Eddy. I think he will be okay, he may just be lurking and seeking motivation and I hope he finds it.

        Keep in mind if you never replied to his blog before you need to have at least one post approved first. I had mine today waiting for approval before he put it through. So he’s there, just being quit and trying to mend I think.

        I hope.

      • Mark says:

        err quiet* typo and yeah again, I had to wait for my first comment on this post to be approved and that is after having already replied on one of his other posts in the past — so he may have it set up that every post needs to be approved. /shrug

      • Mark says:

        Try not to lose hope. That’s all I can think of to say. You seem to be really sweet so think good thoughts and have faith Hon.

    • I really don’t know what to say. I am deeply sorry to hear of the loss of your loved one. I have read your comment and I would like to thank you for taking the time to reach out to me. I truly appreciate that. There will be more entries to my blog. I can promise you that.

    • Sorry for the late reply. Thank you for those kind words. I never felt needed to be honest, but reading your comment helped. I know we are strangers, but I really appreciate you taking the time to say something positive.

  8. aveline07 says:

    Hey, hang in there. Life is crappy and it comes in waves sometimes. Thinking of you and hope you’ll choose another day. Tomorrow always brings something new.

    • Life can truly be crappy at times, you got that right. But I am doing much better. I guess I just needed to wait for a few more tomorrows to understand. Thank you for taking the time to write something nice.

  9. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    You know something my friend poetry is supposed to make another person feel not be an exercise. This was a beautiful poem and shared your soul. Remember you are an original there will never be another you.

    • Awe thanks. Well I hope I am original, but sometimes it’s okay not to be. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I will like to thank you for taking the time to reblog and comment something kind. Glad you thought my poem was beautiful as well.

  10. songtothesirens says:

    You know, as I read your blog, I become more and more certain that the world and Universe as a whole would lose a little more light if you do what I believe you are thinking.

  11. Eddy, when I read your posts I’m always amazed at how similar you and I grew up; struggled but came out better human beings for it. Whatever you are going through is just noise; keep humming your song, we all want to hear it.

    • Wow, I didn’t know there was someone who kind of grew up similar to me. I am happy that I am not the only one. I am sorry to hear that you struggled, but I am glad that you came out a better human being. I will try to continue humming my song, and that is a promise.

  12. Hi Eddy, I saw a comment on Opinionated Man’s blog from Mark and ended up here at your blog. I’m glad I did.
    Your poem is so well written to evoke such an emotional response from everyone, including me! It is beautiful, thank you for sharing, please share more 🙂

    • Wow, thank you. I did not know that my poem was good to be honest. It was all random. I am glad you found it beautiful and I will try to share more. Thanks for the comment.

    • Thank you. When I wrote this post, I felt like nobody was willing to hold my hand. Your comment makes me realize that maybe I just need to wait a bit longer for someone to hold it. I will try my best to blog and smile. Promise.

  13. You are certainly not a joke! I wish I can be there to hug you and be your friend. Honestly your entries still stick to me after days Ive read it. I dont know why….

    I know that this is very cliche but hang on…. It will get better. Find something to look forward to, like a hobby or a new skill. Or meeting new people by volunteering? It kind of helps.

    Sorry if I am giving unsolicited advice. But I really hope that you feel better!

    • Awe thanks. Glad I am not a joke to you. Really? I don’t think my posts are that great to be honest, but I am glad that you seem to like them. Not cliche at all. I am sure things do get better. And they have. Thank you again for your kind words.

  14. TheDarkestRaven says:

    Hi eddy, I know how it’s like feeling like that. I tried taking my life once but I survived coz I got found on time but after that I realise a lot of beautiful things in my life and never tried doing it again. If you need someone to talk to or someone to listen just message me. My contact number and email are on my gravatar 🙂

    • To be honest, I don’t know what to say. I am sorry to hear that you have tried taking your life. I am glad that you are able to see the beautiful things in life now. Life is truly an amazing journey. Although bumpy at times, things eventually get better. You just gotta enjoy it, you know.

      • TheDarkestRaven says:

        I agree. Life is truly amazing. It happened ages ago when I was on my early 20’s, it was me just beig a teenager but I’m doing ok now and never thought of doing it again ever. How are you? Hope everything is ok in your end as well. 🙂

      • I’m glad you haven’t thought about doing it again. I’m doing okay. Just taking one day at a time. Although I sometimes I get sad, the feeling leaves soon after.

      • TheDarkestRaven says:

        It’s good to hear you are doing ok. Well, if you need someone to talk to just send me an email or viber me my details are on my gravatar. Have a good day 🙂

    • Wow, thank you. I never felt like I was inspiring others, but that means a lot. I will try my best to continue writing. Thanks for the kind comment.

    • I didn’t think my poem was powerful at all, but I am glad that you seem to like it. I am feel way better for now. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a nice comment 🙂

  15. Hi Eddy, I really enjoyed your poem. I understand that life get hard sometimes. I struggle with depression too. You are among friends. Writing is good medicine! It is healing to cry and also express how you feel. It is healthy. Sending good thoughts your way. Blessings.

    • Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed my poem. I am sorry to hear that you struggle with depression. But life is a beautiful thing. Thank you for the good thoughts. I definitely need them. Sending positive thoughts back. 🙂

  16. I’m sorry I didn’t read this when you wrote it in 2014, but I’m just getting the privilege to “meet” you now. I’m very grateful that you got past that terrible day.

    Your life matters. Thank you for putting these words out in the world to share with others. They’re beautiful, and important, just like you are.

    I’m glad you’re still here.

    • Thank you for your kind words. I am doing a bit better from what I had written three years ago. Funny, I didn’t think people still read my old posts. Anyways, you really made my morning, for that I do thank you! – Eddy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s