My Boring Life

I always wanted my life to be fun. The type of fun others defined for me. The party life, the fun life. I used to daydream about having a life where I would party with friends all night and drink more than my body could handle. I would dance promiscuous in clubs, make out with many guys, and have plenty of crazy stories to tell the next morning. What a fun life. A life I lived.

To be honest, I have my share of crazy party stories. I’ve drank and thrown up in front of my friends several times. I’ve blacked out and woken up in random places. I’ve gotten in fights while drunk and woken up with bruises. I’ve grinded on many gay guys. I’ve done more sexual things in clubs than legally allowed. I’ve danced shirtless and on poles. I’ve flirted with straight guys. I’ve made out with straight girls. I’ve gotten home way past 5am on several occasions. I’ve been an angry drunk and a fun drunk. I’ve accidentally snorted coke and forgot the nights events. I was roofied once. I’ve been date raped, and refused to accept it. I’ve cried many times in the bathroom while my friends were outside drinking. I’ve fucked up plenty and there’s no denying I’ll fuck up again.

I’m not not regretting what I’ve done or say I will never party again. I just want you to know that I’ve cried a lot during those two years of partying, drinking, and having random sex. That type of life can really mess you up.

I tried to convince myself that drinking was fun. I tried to pretend the people I met in these clubs and bars were my friends. I tried to convince myself that I was in a “real” relationship. Most of all, I tried to convince myself that I was a fun person, but I’m not. I’m done with the party scene and I’m done lying to myself.

Truth is, I’m boring, but I like being boring.

I like watching a random movie at home with my family. I like going to the beach and listening to the sound of waves by myself. I like running alone at night and taking long walks during the day. I like admiring the view while my friends drive long-distances. I like watching people as I take the bus or train to my destination. I like listening to House music or love songs when I need to escape my reality. I like having small dinners and spending hours talking with my friends.

I like my life. No matter how boring it may be.

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21 thoughts on “My Boring Life

  1. sexandthecincy says:

    I wouldn’t call yourself boring. I never have done those things except for try and party. But you cannot be who you’re not. The party life is for some but not for you or me. Embrace who you are. Love who you are.

  2. Sometimes a “boring” life is a fun one. We know how to have a good time without numbing our insides or without having to be being anything outrageous. I know for me some of the best times I have had with friends are when we are just hanging out watching movies instead of being out at a frat party.

  3. thehowlingfantogs says:

    We have all done stupid things. I also spent many years ‘having fun’ in clubs. I don’t regret any of it though. It is part of who I am. It is also how I net my boyfriend and turned my life around. Just wondering though, how do you accidentally take coke? I hope you’re in a happier place now. I am also happier stopping in with my boyfriend and a box set.

  4. Well, I wouldn’t call you or your lifestyle boring; serene perhaps! 😉 And I believe much more wholesome and mentally invigorating.
    Thank you Eddy for sharing your life with us, I’ve read a couple of your posts and I’m eager to continue reading and exploring your blog. Your honesty is very refreshing and touching. Never change that!
    I completely understand what you said about the ‘party’ scene. I know how destructive it can be. I’ve been there; but it took me 7 months to leave it behind my back, and in effect all the lesbian scene in my country since it is really focused on it.
    Have a wonderful *serene* life, Eddy. And looking forward to read more from a talented writer as you are!

  5. Oh god. I have just realised. Like you, others may consider my life boring too. But for me, the things you and i like to do are not boring but exciting, exhilarating! They are the reason we live. Hooray for the seemingly boring things in our lives. But for those, our lves would be…well… boring.

  6. kwatt1988 says:

    I always appreciate when a gay man openly shares his negative experiences on “the scene”. I am only 25 years old, and let me tell you, I got over the party lifestyle nearly a decade ago. It looks and sounds GREAT on your “gay resume”, but I’m much more proud of my functioning brain cells, ability to list all of the men I’ve slept with, and an ability to be thoroughly entertained by the simple things. I love nothing more than a good bottle of wine, good movies, great food, and lots of satisfying sex with a man who treats me like a human being, and actually likes me for more than my perky ass and full lips…ha

  7. riggledo says:

    If you ask me, it’s the life you described in the first half of this post that sounds boring! The second half of the post is what sounds pleasant and enjoyable to me.

  8. To me, that kind of life is amazing and I envy the way you live yourself. Where you can speak to your family. Does that include your parents? I do not speak with mine, other then my two sisters. I have friends but not all of them agree with what I wish to support and give me crap about it. Live the way you want. Boring or not.

  9. On this and in other posts you write with candor about your experiences and feelings. Seems to me to be awake and aware, present to your life and in touch with your reactions to it is to be very much alive. In my experience, it seldom gets better than that. If you wish to claim the term “boring,” I salute you and honor your self-definitions. May there be many more such boring persons in the world.

  10. Hey Eddie! Goood morning from Spain. 7:49 a.m is here on a Saturday and I´m awake? Go figure. Thanks for stopping by my crazy un-paid blog by the way. I read you´re about page, but I thought it was brilliant the title when you say “The story of a gay with too much time in his hands” To much time in your hands? Grab a beer with one of them, or coffe better. Believe me that when it get´s to partying you can´t beat me,it´s mathematically impossible. And when it gets to drinking it´s impossible(that´s a challenge), and when it gets to fights…well I have 3 broken fingers, one broken wrist, I get quite angry sometimes, but I´ve grown over that. I´m 31 now so I try to reign in my frustrations and channel them in other ways, like writing.
    You´re not boring, I thought that too in my younger years, but you can balance crazy party if you want cause your 23 my friend! I was a nut job at your age, hell I was in the army and in Afghanistan, Spanish army that is. I guess that what I´m trying to say is that when you said you liked see the views by yourself or watch a movie at home with family,running at night by yourself, taking long walks, have conversations with your friends That´s not boring, that´s normal. Partying does not equal being boring, on the other hand people party because they want to escape reality. But once in a while…of course you can party, try not to do much coke, my experience…I ended up in the streets. But if you can manage it, well each to his own. So no you´re not boring, you´re normal or at least more normal than me.

    Here goes a fact that maybe you find it interesting or not, but I´m still going to say it. That picture of you with the NIKE shirt that say´s “Just do it”, you know where the slogan came from? In the early 20th century a firing squad was going to execute a prisoner, and when they yelled fire, the guys behind the rifle hesitated, so the prisoner yelled “Just do it!” That got into the newspapers and one smart marketing guy was reading the newspaper one day on the train and thought it would be a nice slogan for his upcoming brand of shoes.

    Read ya, you got yourself a new stalker.

  11. That sounds delightful: the waves, moving scenery in car, running (stepping forth into your future), walking (one of the most natural acts for a human) and observing our fellow humans in close proximity when in transit. You’re anything but boring. I’d label you ALIVE!

    The idea of clubs is more interesting – fun – than the real thing. I too have had some great times in clubs as well as many disappointing anti-climaxes. And there is a time and place for it all. It gets out of your system and other things hold greater value – can you hear the age creeping in…

    Let’s be who we are rather than what we think we ought to be or ought to be doing. Fun is however one wishes to define it!

    Thanks for the like on my post called Parents.

    Bobby 🙂

  12. talica bennett says:

    if you call that boring what would you say about me who is so shy to the point i barely talk to anyone and never been kissed at sixteen

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